"I am a question to the world, Not an answer to be heard"

I have to pee.

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Now that that's out of the way...

I am confused. Utterly and completely confused. The things I think about just don't piece together in my mind. They don't make sense. It's like I have a bunch of puzzle pieces, but I can't fit them together because all the pieces are from completely different puzzles. I think too much. About things... that I don't even know why I think about them. But I can't help it, because these things just come to me, and I can't do anything until I can figure out the answers. I know I never will, cuz these are just things no one knows, but I can't help it. I don't even know why exactly I'm writing this... just to try to put some of these pieces together in some way. If I see them all laid out in front of me maybe I can figure out a way these mismatched pieces can create some sort of picture for me.

Ok. So I've been thinking alot lately. About people, relationships... life in general. Alot of the same questions keep reoccurring. Questions I just can't answer. Questions I mull over night after night. Cliché, however the main question is... "What is the reason for our existance?" Everyone's pondered that one at least once. Why are we here? What's our point? To survive? To grow up, get a job, have kids, retire, etc. Ok, but then what? What's beyond that? What's the meaning behind all that? I guess what I'm getting at is... "why?" To everything. Why? If you say it enough it loses all meaning. The word just looks like a meaningless jumble of lines. Although that's the only meaning it's been having lately since there's no answer to that question. I don't want to sound cynical, or jaded, or depressed, because honestly I'm not any of those things. I'm just a curious individual looking for some answers. To understand life... and myself. To have a reason. A reason for something. A reason for anything.

- - -

And I want a moment to be real
Want to touch things I don't feel
Want to hold on and feel I belong
And how can the world want me to change?
They're the ones they stay the same
They don't know me'
Cause I'm not here