Addiction 101

Ok. Alright. I'll admit it.

I am addicted.

I know it's a problem. It's interfering with my life. I think about it all the time. It's constantly in my thoughts. When I'm with friends, it's all I think about. It's disrupting my schoolwork. I can't sleep because of it, and when I do, I dream about it. It consumes every ounce of my being, It controls my time and I can no longer keep it in. I know I have a problem, but I don't want it fixed. I've been away for too long, I must go back to it. It's calling to me, reaching for me... I must go. I must go and fulfill what must be done.

























I must go watch South Park

... Bake Sale...?

Ok. So everyone knows those lemonade stand games right? Buy the ice, the lemons the sugar and the cups. You decide the prices. Depending on the weather, you sell more or less Lemonade. It teaches you about business and money.
However. I have found... Bake Sale. That's right. You make Yummy treats AND hot apple cider. There are so many ingredients I get confused. The kids talk, and I don't know what they're saying, and they tell me I don't have enough ingredients, so I have to go to the store. So I need to click on the kitchen area, where I can grab the keys off the counter (how the hell these kids who are running a BAKESALE can drive and buy a CAR I have no idea) and I go to the store, where the aisles aren't even in proper order I might add. Honestly, who puts the cups with the marshmallows? In any case, after I buy my apples and chocolate in UNREALISTIC QUANTITIES I am forced to go home and slave away at the hot stove making these treats, which I sell for approximately 61 cents each, give or take. Depending how much I want to charge, and how much my customers are willing to pay. For I mustn't upset them or my popularity will go down. Then I won't sell as many treats or Cider. BY THE WAY, why does the guy sell the treats and the girl sells the cider? IS THIS SOME SORT OF SEXUAL INNUENDO?! And why is she always sad? And why does the guy get all the money?! IS SHE SOME SORT OF SEX SLAVE OR SOMETHING?! OPPRESSION! OPPRESSION!

Oh well. I made $385.55 in 10 days. Take That Bitch!

A Baseball Bat and Barney. A Baseball Bat TO Barney..? A better combination...

Ok. So it was around 145 am. I'm sitting here chatting on msn, talking to a friend on the phone, reading some shit... ya know, the usual. So, all of a sudden my doorbell rings. I was kinda pissed off, cuz I figured it was my mom coming home, and forgot her key or something. So I told my friend to hold on a second while I walked to the door, all- the-while swearing my head off. I reach the door and ask "Who is it?" as is customary in my neighbourhood, due to the extreme ghettoness of it. I received no response. So again I call out. "Hello? Anyone there?" Again, no response. I then hear a car drive away. If you haven’t guessed, by then I was a tad freaked out. So I did the most logical thing. I grabbed a baseball bat and called my mom. After letting me know it wasn't her, she told me not to open the doors, (no shit!) and that she'd be home soon. So she hangs up, and I'm left with an empty house and the wind howling outside my bedroom window. Fuck I love Saturdays.

By the way, how many of you used to watch Barney? And how many can still remember the theme song? Ok well, me being the cool cat that I am, watched it, and can remember the whole song.

Let us begin.

Barney is a dinosaur, from our imagination, And when he's tall he's what we call a dinosaur sensation. Barney's friends are big and small they come from lots of places, after school they need to play and sing with happy faces. Barney shows us lots of things, like how to play pretend, ABC's and 123's and how to be a friend. Barney comes to play with us whenever we may need him, Barney can be your friend too if you just make believe him!

But the best Barney song of all...

The Barney Bag Song

That's right. The Barney Bag.

That thing was God. You could find anything in it! Anything!

So we're looking in the Barney Bag. And we've found, a lot of things. Like gizmos and gadgets, and odds and ends, and even some old string! Now let’s ask ourselves a question. What can we make today? With imagination and the Barney Bag, we’ll see what we can make today, yeah, we’ll see what we can make today.

Yes. I know. You don’t have to say it. I have sunk to a new low. But ya know what? I’m fine with it. Because I have my Barney songs down here, and I’m happy. That’s right. I loved Barney and am proud of it. Take that Airplane Bob!

(Yeah, don’t ask. It’s 3 am. I am tired. Leave me alone.)

Not to say I like Barney now. That giant purple dinosaur scares the shit outta me, and I have no idea how I found him so endearing as a child. But I will forever remember the wonderful songs, and the 8 year old child who once asked Barney "Barney, what's the alphabet?"

My fruit salad is better than your fruitopia.

Ok. This occasion was just too momentous to pass up a blog post. So I decided to take a short and well-deserved break from my arduous studying of science to tell you all about it.

I have... Fruit Salad.

Okok, settle down. I know it's amazing.
Oh ya. And here's the kicker.

It has Raspberries.
That's right folks. Raspberries. The Best fruit (In my opinion. {duh its your opinion its your blog dumbass})

They are what makes this fruit salad. As Jems has stated "that is the fruit salad that calls all the other fruit salads its bitch!"
so true Jems. So true...

P.s. I just found a blueberry stuck in a raspberry. That has got to be one of the coolest things I have ever seen. Or tasted... *drools*

The Whore List

Alright, so, as I've stated before, I have accumulated quite the collection of whore labels. However, before now (technically yesterday) they have never before been put together in a cumulative list. I now present you with my...

Whore List

Hug Whore
Conversation Whore
Duct Tape Whore
Ice Cream Whore
Personality Whore
Tea Whore
Insult Whore
Sarcasm Whore
Phone Whore
Computer Whore
Procrastination Whore
Question Whore
Attention Whore
Consumer Whore
Writing Stuff In A Notebook Whore (Added today by Jems!)
Boob Whore
Linux Whore
Slut Whore
Sims Whore
Vanity Whore (NO, not V. vainness. lol.)
Flirt Whore
* Blog Whore
* Ice Cap Whore
* Comment Whore (fine. I'll admit it. I'm a Comment Whore. But I love comments dude!)
* Barefoot Whore (Good job babe, finally thought of something huh? lmao.)
* South Park Whore

This très extensive list is not complete however. It will be forever growing, as I will continue to whore myself in more and more ways. ;)

p.s. If anyone has any additions, please, feel free to contribute in the comments. I'll be sure to add them in. BUT only if they are whores I am. Not stupid additions. *cough* ;)

* are updates from the original post

Duct Tape Whore To The Rescue!

Ah, a new blog. It's like starting fresh.
In past blogs, my attempts at a humorous recollection of my daily life encounters are now seen as futile, as they turned into a boring recitation of what I did.
This blog however, will be different. Hopefully my efforts will not be in vain, and this blog will rise above my past endeavours to deliver what I wish it to: Nonsensical tributes to my idiotic accomplishments.

I was once called duct tape girl, as I have an odd obsession with Duct Tape.
I became Incredible Duct Tape Girl, here to save the world using insane Duct Tape skills. After a time, it evolved into Duct Tape Whore, as people have a fondness for finding out my odd fixations, or things I do alot, and creating a whore label for me.
(Ice cream whore, Insult whore, Hug whore, Conversation whore, etc)
Thus, Duct Tape Whore was born. So you may now rest easy. Duct Tape Whore is here, and ready to deliver.