Ever Aging, Ever Changing..

School sucks. I've been having trouble concentrating on much of anything lately. But this wasn't meant to be a pity-post. I just thought I'd update: put a blip on the internet radar. "Yes, I'm still alive, not that anyone's paying attention anyways." A tad cynical? Maybe. Is that something new? Of course not. Being a cynic is part of my nature. It's just something I do. In any case, I've been thinking about a lot of random things lately, one of them being age. Why is it that no matter how old I am, and no matter what I previously thought of that age, when I reach it, I always feel that it's an immature and young age? When I was 14, I couldn't wait to turn 15. "14 is such a young age. There's a huge difference between 14 and 15." Alas, 15 rolled around, and even months away from 16, I still felt young. 15 wasn't any better. It was still a young and immature age. "16 will be better. Sweet Sixteen. I'll be older and more mature then." When I was younger, 16 was the epitome of being a teenager. In all the games I played, my favourite girl was always the 16 year old, in the prime of her teen years. Except, when I turned 16, I realized what a joke all of that had been. 16 is nothing. It felt so young still. Now I'm realizing, I'll always feel young. No matter what preconception I have, no matter how old I get, I will never truly feel the age I am. I will always see it as young and immature. A little while after my birthday, I feel the urge for my next birthday to come around, because this new age still feels too young. It may be because I hang with people older than myself, or it may be because of some weird preconditioned response in my brain. In either case, I don't know if it will ever stop. Maybe it will all go away when I get older. People always say when you're older it's different. And I mean older as in 40ish. But will I feel this way all the way through my 20s and 30s? I'm hoping it's just a teen thing. I'm hoping it's just something I'll soon outgrow. Let's hope.

And p.s. I'll let you know how 17 is in a few months. Until then... ... Ya I got nothing.